January 9

But She’s Not A Woman – She’s Just A Kid


Have you ever seen the 1991 movie “Father of the Bride”? Steve Martin plays the character, George, whose daughter is getting married.

My oldest daughter, Christina (some of you may have talked to her – she works with me here in the Probate Fox den), is getting married this summer to a fine young man named Luke.

If you have a daughter you had to let go of, I’m sure you can relate.

Watching your little girl grow up, and learning to let go is not easy. Especially for the Probate Fox. I’m very protective of my cubs.

There’s a line in that movie that I can really relate to.

George says “Who presents this woman? This woman? But she’s not a woman. She’s just a kid. And she’s leaving us. I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and was leaving us, and something inside began to hurt.”

I can relate. It seems it was not that long ago I was everything to Christina. Now it seems I’ve been replaced.

After church on Sunday, Kathy and I went to a food tasting with Christina and her fiancé Luke. They are planning a destination wedding at Lake Arrowhead and they needed to decide on the menu.

There were other prospective catering clients at the tasting and my daughter and Luke hit it off with another couple who shared the experience they had with a different caterer who was treating them like cogs in a wheel. Get in, taste the food, get out.

That caterer made no effort to make a connection with the couple. It was just a process they were putting on. A dog and pony show – and a poor one at that.

A wedding is one of the biggest events in a couple’s lives. And catering jobs for weddings can be incredibly profitable endeavors. Showing up just wanting to sell some food with no real interest in the couple and the journey they took to get to this point is a huge mistake.

In fact, if that caterer isn’t interested in the lives of the people they are working with, they should probably get out of the catering business and find some other work that would better suit their interests and personality.

There are so many reasons real estate investors, brokers, and agents who try to dive into the probate niche and fail.

One of the biggest reasons is the same as that caterer who just wanted to sell some food.

Don’t show up to buy or list a house. People going through probate are dealing with a life-altering event. Get to know them and the situation they are in. Discover what problems they are wrestling with and offer solutions.

When they are ready to do something with the house, you’ll be their first (and most likely only) option.

Speaking of which, I think I’m going to hop on the phone and call some probate leads. This wedding isn’t going to pay for itself!

To your success,
Ernie “Father of the Bride” Vargas | The Probate Fox


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